Killing Me Softly
by completely taylor made
Summary: Peter and Rocket deal with loss. (warnings: death, inter-species relationship, post mpreg)


It was a horrible sight, yeah, but more than that, it was the sound that really got to Peter. It had been five months since The Incident, but the memory was so vivid that he was sure when it got just quiet enough, he could still hear them. As of three weeks ago, he could be in the same room as Rocket, though not alone. As of the last time he saw he saw him, which was two days ago, Peter still couldn't make eye contact with him. He knew, because he had accidentally turned around a corner while Rocket was coming around that same corner, and at the full sight of him for the first time in months, all he could see was the disturbing scene he had witnessed.

Since then, Peter had locked himself away, ignoring even Gamora. Most of the time her presence was comforting, and it was because of her he had gotten to the point where he could even consider continuing his friendship with Rocket. However, nothing she could say right now would remove the image of what had happened from his mind, and he was sure this meant it was probably time to make new living arrangements. Nothing would change what had happened, and he simply could not see Rocket in the same way he had before.

The worst part was how great everything had been just before. So great, in fact, that "friendship" was an understatement. As confusing as it was, even for Peter himself, they had become romantically involved and ultimately, sexually. It had been a long, uncomfortable road to love in that form. In part because of their personalities, and in part the fact that it was beastiality despite Rocket's distaste for the term racoon. Peter ultimately got past the whole different species thing, while Rocket got a little better about his antagonistic nature. And bam. It just sort of happened and they were happy. So much so, that when Peter realized he was pregnant, he was only mostly horrified.

The idea took getting used to, and by the time he was ready to give birth, his excitement outweighed the more negative feelings about the whole thing. The only thing really had him worried was having to them cut out of him, and the fact that there was a "them" to deliver. One baby sounded like more than enough work, so finding out there were four in the making put the entire team on edge. Rocket's feelings remained, for the most part, unclear for duration of the pregnancy (he was definitely not pleased to hear about the litter he'd soon have). But when the day came that Peter was going to have them taken out, he seemed to be in good spirits.

Being put under for the surgery had sounded like a good idea at the time, and Peter was still sure that he wouldn't have wanted to be awake for the process itself. Had he just stayed awake, though, he could have prevented what happened. And he would still be able to be around Rocket. Knowing he would have wanted to would have been significantly less upsetting and damaging to their relationship than actually seeing him to do it. Probably. Unfortunately, it happened the way it did and what could have been didn't matter now.

Peter spent the second evening after his 'run-in' with Rocket in bed, listening to his music at the highest volume. He focused on counting the weird markings on the ceiling over and over again, rather than daydreaming like he sometimes tried to do. If he spent too much time imagining anything, the memory would slowly creep back up and take the place of whatever else he was trying to think about. It was simply better, he decided, just not to think at all when he was alone like this. That didn't always work, and that's how he ended up avoiding the other's for weeks at a time. They hadn't done anything interesting or productive in so long, Peter wasn't entirely sure why they were all still there.

After falling asleep and waking up with a terrible headache from his headphones, Peter got up and tried to venture out. Everything was quiet and no one seemed to be around, so he decided this was perfect time to look for something to eat. It had definitely been several days since he had eaten anything that wasn't laying around beside his bed already, which was nothing substantial. Where he found food, however, he also found Rocket. Eating. Peter froze at the sight, cringing as he took another bite before noticing him there, mid-chew. They stared at each other for a moment as Peter, for the third time that week, completely relived what had happened.

When he had opened his eyes after the procedure, the first thing he had noticed was the soreness and fatigue. That was expected, though. The second thing he had noticed was the crunching and wet, chewing sounds coming from the other side of the small room. Peter had shifted and pulled himself up so he was sitting and could look around for the source of the noises. He hadn't been sure what he had been expecting to see, but it certainly wasn't Rocket quietly hunched over a hairless, writhing creature as he bit into a the wriggling form of another. It made a high pitched noise as the tiny bones crunched under the pressure of him gnawing fiercely at the torso.

Peter stopped him as soon as the paralyzing part of the shock and confusion wore off. However, with Rocket having eaten two and a half of the babies and after getting a good look at the last one - with it's bald, wrinkled skin, human-like limbs and animal snout - he wasn't sure stopping him had even been the right choice. The last one died an hour later on it's own, and Peter and Rocket avoided each other almost without fail since that day.

Rocket finished chewing and awkwardly tried to smile at Peter, who had checked out in favor of this flashback for a full thirty seconds. The sound of him moving the seat he was in pulled Peter back into the present, where his first instinct was to try smiling back. It was more of a grimace, and he looked away immediately. He heard Rocket get up to leave, but Peter stopped him. It was about time they talked about this. One of them definitely had to move out, since he could not foresee himself getting over that disturbing scene any time soon, and since it was his ship, it was definitely Rocket that should go. So he opened their first conversation in months by saying exactly that.


End file.
